Mars's newest reality TV sensation: Screwball City! Follow the exploits of those left behind as our cameras capture all!

Our unsuspecting stars think they're being filmed for historical documentation.  They have no idea that they are actually reality TV stars!  And we're not going to tell them!

So join us every Saturday night, 8 p.m., Cydonia Mensae Time!

The final ships to Mars will be leaving tomorrow at 6 a.m. NO OTHER SHIPS WILL BE TRANSPORTING AFTER THIS TIME.

President Hilton met with world leaders yesterday to discuss the mass evacuation due to Earth's pollution levels.

"This is so not hot," said President Hilton.

Earth is set to evacuate to the Mars colony beginning next week.  Local leaders will handle ship assignments.